Living@110% 24/7

English is My Second Language

2010-12-03T09:16:00.001-08:00

Funny things that some human beings at one time wrote.

I do not know when how or where, and do not claim to know or to have been the first to post this. I just think it’s funny. period.

1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.

2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli, and he was room temperature Canadian beef.

5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

7. He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.

8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife’s infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM machine.

9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn’t.

10. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.

11. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you’re on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30

12. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.

13. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.

14. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

15. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan’s teeth.

16. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

17. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant, and she was the East River.

18. Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.

19. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.

20. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.

21. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.

22. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.

23. The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

24. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.

25. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.

Blender Ball Bottle - iHerb.com

2010-10-26T22:04:00.000-07:00

Here's a coupon code good for $5 off for a first time customer. I used it to get a blender ball bottle for less than $5 (shipping included). But it's good for any other items purchased from iherb.com too.

I love these bottles. They're great for protein shakes post workout and they're great for use as a regular water bottle too. The ball ensures that there are no clumps of powder left in your shake. It also works well for scrambling eggs, mixing drinks, mixing a home made dressing, whipping cream, etc.

Coupon Code: MIZ845

It's been a fun 3 years...

2007-10-09T20:15:00.000-07:00

I'm following suit, Mike. Dan, you were right.
I've attempted (albeit lamely) to continue this blog but it's just not worth the effort anymore. I've tried to care enough to post once in a while...it's just not working for me.
(click on image for best results)
I may revive this blog if/when the spirit moves me. Until such a time I'll continue to lurk and comment.
With this, I too remove my hand from the bucket.

Please observe a moment of silence

2007-09-15T13:12:00.000-07:00

...for Mike and Nina's blog. I just figured it out now. He killed it! It truly is a sad day in the blogosphere with earth shattering implications. Thanks for the memories guys! Hope it comes back some day.

iPhone Almighty

2007-09-08T15:41:00.000-07:00

I had a chance to win an iPhone at the SES2007. Alas it wasn't meant to be (sounds about right with my luck). Then again I probably wouldn't have been able to put it to full use anyway so it was better that someone else got it. Besides I like sound of the new iPod (basically an iPhone without the phone). Here's a parody of the unveiling of the iPhone that I thought was damn hillarious:

Check it

2007-09-04T00:04:00.000-07:00

Good job representin'. Go Nippon!

My Corner of Google Dance 2007

2007-08-22T12:51:00.000-07:00

Last night, after the seminar had ended for the day, Google held an event at the Googleplex (get it googolplex...Google...whew...). It was, in all pretty overwhelming. It was, as put by someone I overheard, like college plus cool lights, and tons of food. We got to schmooze with the future cream of the Search Engine crop (and they weren't ALL geeks. Just most of them.)
The Googleplex in itself was pretty amazing. A huge piece of property strewn with buildings with beautiful architecture, dinosaur skeletons, immaculately trimmed lawns, Beach volleyball courts... The buildings contain living quarters, labs, cafeteria, gym, (of course) offices, etc. It's pretty much a self-contained society. It's simply amazing. You gotta see it to believe it. It's HUGE! We should make the new place like that. Call it the Actiplex...or something.
We spent the night wandering around the Google property and drifting in and out of the G-Club (Google Night Club) drinking Sierra Nevada all evening long.
Oh! Did I mention it was all on the house?

Still...as interesting and fun as it was, I'd trade it all just to be home. You know that feeling you get when you've had so much pumped into you (yes you can get out of the gutter now...) that you feel drained...or maybe it's the feeling of being shell shocked. Or more like how I feel after listening to a full rap album all the way through on full blast. (no offense to rappers, or their listeners. It's just not my preference you see.) So you'll have to excuse the dazed expression you'll see on my face when I get home.

Thanks guys so much for holding things down (or up) while we've been away. I really appreciate everything you did in the past week to stretch and accommodate our attending this training program. I pray that what I've been able to learn will yield the results they're meant to. I'm looking forward to seeing you all again. Soon, people, soon.

P.S. Timna, thanks for letting me go and for the extra strain of not getting breaks from Katie. I really appreciate and admire you and I'm glad/proud to have you as my wife and to be the mother of my baby.

P.P.S. Guess who's getting lucky tomorrow night? Sexy time.

SES 2007 San Jose

2007-08-21T08:13:00.000-07:00

So, I'm off in San Jose for the Search Engine Strategy Seminar 2007. Pretty interesting stuff. Mucho learning going on. Rubbing shoulders with the likes of Danny Sullivan, Matt Cutts and other people I've never heard of before falling into the deep geek pool that is Search Engine Strategy. Alot of these experts are real entertaining talkers too. As much fun as this is, I really want to be home. I miss you guys!

(Edit: for what it's worth I met and shook hands with Bruce Clay)

Ikea is the devil

2007-08-15T21:39:00.000-07:00

Once they get you into one of their stores it's all over. They've got you by the balls. You'll be stuck in there for hours getting the life sucked out of you choice by painstaking choice. Then it spits you out the exit totally drained and exhausted. Beware passers by. Here be dragons.

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(Not so) Random quote: In times like these, it helps to look back and remember that there have always been times like these.

Workout + Community Service = ?

2007-08-06T23:16:00.000-07:00

A runner cruises by you out on the trail, on the beach, in the park, or along the roadsides carrying something unusual. What is it? It's a trash bag! Even more amazing: the runner, often without stopping, bends down and picks up trash and puts it in the bag! Check out the Eco-runner here.

Remember, God put us on the only planet within a few light years' radius able to sustain human life. Lets take care of it.

Random Quote: Don't let the Word that jumped out at you die the death as soon as you turn the page.

Just for Boo...

2007-08-02T12:13:00.000-07:00

Now how'd they get that through the censors?

For love, for Christ for,...

2007-07-26T16:21:00.000-07:00

I order you to participate in Operation Ruthie-Drop! Now GO!

Irony

2007-07-19T07:23:00.000-07:00

I get up early this morning to go to the office and as I leave our house I get to the gates and they're both locked. I go to where we usually keep 2 sets of house keys and all I find are nothing but air molecules sitting on a mantle. The time when I should be on duty was quickly approaching so I ended up clambering over the fence to get myself out of the house. Imagine that. Breaking out of your own house...Weren't the gates and fences made to do just the opposite thing?

I really gotta get me some keys...

Random Quote:
A rut is a grave with the ends knocked out.

Cannon in D

2007-07-15T11:07:00.000-07:00

Cannon in D has been a classical music favorite of mine over the years. It's has so much emotion in it...and it doesn't even have any lyrics. (think about it...classical emo...ugh that association almost ruins the song for me. Darn emos) It featured prominently in the 1997 movie Nothing to Lose starring Tim Robbins and Martin Lawrence. Pieces were also used in Coolio's I'll See You When You Get There. Here's someone's rock remake of the classic. I was pretty impressed with the way it's arranged. All that to say, the original piece is beautiful and this remake is so totally tubular! I love the creativity and I'm pretty sure Makoto could do one better but till that day comes...

(Not So) Random Quote:
Emotions are the key to being emo. Act like your kitten just died, and you don't have a damn friend in the whole wide world. When people ask you how you feel, then you should reply with the following adjectives: morose, empty, bitter, lost, aloof, distant, sad, heartbroken, or my personal favorite "I don't know how I'm feeling".
-from the Insta Emo Kit (It's a mocking look at the "world" of emo)

Um...Demon of depression, anyone? It even comes with a side order of Apotheon. Would you like that with fries? For here, or to go? Ugh, don't even get me started...

An observation

2007-07-07T08:58:00.000-07:00

During the course of my work I came across this little tidbit:

There's a city called Bumpass in Virgina (zipcode: 23024)

That made me smile...just a little bit. Imagine being born in or living in a city with a name like that. On your birth certificate you'd have your address as "Bumpass". I'd almost go out of my way to have a child there just for the novelty.

--------end observation-----------

Next thought:
Seriously, I mean I can't even walk into a bank with a ski mask on anymore! This profiling has to stop!

Another reason to drink your milk

2007-06-24T10:39:00.000-07:00

You know, I don't really get off on drinking milk. I think I was over saturated with it in childhood. I didn't mind milk back in the day... Now I hardly drink any of the stuff. Apparently that's a bad thing.

On another subject, how is it that when you don't need a ball pump or a needle they're always around and in your way but when you need them, they simply disappear? Where do they go? I'm guessing they disappear into the cosmos of where lost socks go.

Arrow #1 (for now)

2007-06-13T22:16:00.000-07:00

Here she is. My pride and joy.

This was taken a while ago so it's not the most recent shot but at least it's something right? I just finally got around to posting up on Youtube so I could put it up here. I finally found time between bouts of unluckiness to post something useful.

Borat Anonymous

2007-06-06T23:09:00.000-07:00

Let he who has never impersonated Borat at one time or another cast the first stone.

You know, someone asked me today if I dream in Japanese...it's sad that my dreams had alot of Japanese speaking in it at one point but now it's the freak phenomena. I used to be able to create spoken sentences without forming my thoughts in English first. I gotta get back in the groove. Take the culture back!

Are we there yet?

2007-06-04T21:05:00.000-07:00

Here's another one for the "unlucky Phil" files.

I made the mistake of trying to cross the border going into the US on (1) a Sunday and (2) the day after the Baja 500 Off Road Race. Of course I didn't know anything about the latter. The traffic on the road leading to the road leading to the border was already horrendous. At one point I saw some people with California license plates take off down a side road. I thought it would be a good idea to follow them since they seemed to be headed toward the border. Perhaps they know a better way...nah. I'll stay here. Don't want to get lost or anything. 10 minutes later I hadn't moved an inch. Another 3 fellow California cars took off down that little side road. I peeled off after them. I chased them block after block, turn after turn all the way down to central Tijuana. Then in a proper Phil-esque twist they pulled into an open spot by the side of the road and got out. Damn! OK! Regroup! I'm somewhere in the middle of a city I don't know full of people who's language I don't know.
By dead reckoning I managed to make my way back to a familiar road. The same road I had just abandoned not more than 20 minutes earlier (albeit having made some progress because I rejoined the road further down). Lets not do THAT again. Mental note to self: Stick to familiar roads when you're driving in the insane asylum...ahem...Mexican traffic.
I made it to the road leading to the border about an hour later. Taped off and guarded by la Policia. I stopped to ask the police for directions to get to another border entry point. Ladies and Gentlemen! Without further ado I will announce the directions to the other border entry point. The directions I received from Tijuana's finest: "GO!" Me: "No! wait! I don't know how to get there! I don't know Spanish!" The reply? "GO! GO! GO!"
OK, don't panic. I've been through a different route to the border before. I can do this. First right after the turn. Taped off. Next turn? Taped. Next? Taped. I finally find one turn that isn't taped off and I make it to the main drag leading down to the border. Triumphantly charging down the road and cruising merrily around the roundabouts. Abruptly, the charging ended. That entrance was taped and guarded too. I spent the next 20 minutes trying to find a way around this new obstacle. No success.
OK, breathe... I've driven to Otay once (on accident) with Connie. I sorta remember how to get there... Follow the signs. I got to Otay (the city) but couldn't find the border. I asked for directions from a young Mexican woman. Somehow I made myself understood (I think). She then unleashed a torrent of Spanish at me. I caught the word "left" out of the entire exchange. I obediently took a left and drove for a bit till I saw a welcome road sign that read "San Diego". I hit the Otay border traffic and waited and waited and waited. I had text aloud going on my laptop and after 2 hours the battery died. It's been 2 hours already? I definitely hadn't banked on it taking more than 2 hours. Still no sign of the actual border. I'd only crossed this border once and that was at night with someone guiding me. I had no idea how much further the actual border was. But really, how far could it be? How far indeed! I sat in Otay border traffic for over 4 hours before I made it back across the border. When all was said and done I'd spent over 6 hours trying to cross the border. What a way to spend your day off, huh? But in the end it wasn't as bad as it sounds. It had all the hallmarks of a good day off. Word, adventure (exploring Tijuana and Otay), suspense (OK, here's the border...NOW LET ME IN!!!), comedy (A one legged beggar strikes a Karate pose as soon as he sees me...stereotypes...), rest (I did sit on my now very flat derrière), all with the ever present entertainment of jugglers, fire breathers, and people threatening to "clean" my windshield. ...now if only I didn't have to refrain from drinking water for fear of having to take a leak.

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Seen in a comic book:
Picture: a man climbing a stepladder alongside a cupboard. He's pulling himself up using the cupboard reaching for a book on the top. His pulling is causing the cupboard to tip over onto him. The book he's reaching for is "When bad things happen to stupid people"

Rowing for fitness

2007-05-28T23:05:00.000-07:00

A trailer truck license plate as seen during the drive from NY to the Wordstock 2006 (last year) site.
Today I tried my hand at the rowing machine for my exercise. It was pretty interesting (all the while, making the odd side comment concerning "#41" and "We keep you alive to serve this ship. So, row well and live") . I like the muscle groups that they work out. It's a nice change-up from running or charging up the elliptical trainer. I thought it would have been a funny idea to take it down to the beach and row for a half hour or something...better yet have it in the water for a more authentic feel. THAT would have made a great blog photo. Alas, my (good, solid) exercise takes precedence to posting sight gags on my blog...now had I been 18 years old on the other hand...
Though I managed to dredge the depths of my humor treasure chest to proudly proclaim to my fellow exercisers that I've discovered a shorter way to India.
Now if you'll excuse me I must go try my hand at charioteering.

(Not so) Random Quote:
From a scene in Ben Hur:
You can break a man's skull, you can arrest him, you can throw him into a dungeon. But how do you control what's up here? (taps his skull) How do you fight an idea?

Wordstock 2007 C

2007-05-26T07:47:00.000-07:00

Sporadic offerings:

You leave for a little over a week and your baby gets so much bigger. Its like magic. I'm not sure if I ever want to leave again. I want to keep her this little and cute forever. Oh well...I guess its all part of growing up...(both her and I)

The soccer blisters are healing but running on them still feels like running on coals.

There's more talent out there than what official productions indicate. Maybe one day we'll see an officially produced Marie Clay album...or at least a song?

JayDee will soon be my sister-in-law's husband after a moving proposal on stage after his set at Wordstock. What does that make him to me? Brother-in-law? Brother-in-law-in-law?

I was team leader of the best group at Wordstock. Those JETT boys give me faith in our future. Don't go broken arrow on us and we'll all do just fine.

(Not so) Random Quote: Most people live and die with their music still unplayed. They never dare to try. (now in some cases that could be a good thing too...but I still say give it a try. It could be worth the daring.)

Wordstock 2007 b

2007-05-20T12:33:00.000-07:00

More afterthoughts:

Playing soccer in rough socks for 2 and a half hours will reduce the entire bottom of your foot into one big blister.

One can function on less sleep than he thinks he must have.

One blink can be one too many when driving drowsy.

Energy drinks, Mate, Coffee, power bars, tea and soda can only do so much to keep you awake, even if taken in massive quantities all at once. I'm going try the sugar-high route next year. LETS GO!

The WOC should market a Wordstock Diet. For the second year straight I ate what seemed like alot of food for each meal during Wordstock but I came out weighing less. Probably has just a little something to do with the amount of the aforementioned walking as well as the extra curricular things people do at Wordstock...like um...sports. That's right, sports and moshing. Uhuh.

After all the talking and fellowship I finally got around to getting a photo with 2 pals from Japan (for those of you who still live in caves, Mike and Cesco) in the last few hours of Wordstock. Yup, world class procrastinator that I am...

Wordstock '07

2007-05-16T17:25:00.000-07:00

This here is a blog-worthy event. Absolutely epic from the journey there to the experiences experienced while there. Here are a few thoughts and trivia.

Approximately:
2800 miles driven over approximately 55 hours to get there and back. No stop overs, no camping.
74309 steps taken during the event(not including get-out and concert events).
42 miles walked (also not including get-out and concert events).

No, I didn't learn my lessons from last year (and I probably never will). My legs were sore from day 1 and they continue to be sore to this day.

I finally fulfilled one of my greatest desires. It was to play in a band with Mike D. I finally got to do just that as a bassist in Niki's backing band. Mike has a way of making anyone's playing sound good. Cheers, Mike! Hope we can do it again some time.

And Niki. I'm proud to have been able to play with you this year. Thanks for allowing me that honor. Aside from the worry and work it was alot of fun too.

It feels good to have been preaching the skills of Mike D. and Mak (aka. Makoto). I feel my ranting and raving has been justified at Wordstock 4.

Office Space Gripes

2007-05-04T12:07:00.000-07:00

I came across this post on "office etiquette" online and I thought it was pretty funny (in a "yeah-that-sounds-vaguely-familiar" sort of way). I could have written this (albeit in portions) throughout my 9+ years of office work.

Here it is (edited to exclude obscenities)
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To My Co-Workers
I will begin this post by stating that I like the job that I have. However, in the year or so that I have been working there, some things have come to my attention that aggravate me. I would like to bring these things to your attention.

1. There are only two employee toilets in the building for the 20 or so employees. If you feel the need for a long sit down each morning with the paper, then schedule that before you come to work. In addition, burning a match does not help the smell after you take a dump. The bathroom then smells like crap AND sulfur. Leave the fan on when you exit the bathroom. If you approach the bathroom door and it is closed, assume someone is in there and do the courteous thing - knock! Don't just grab the handle and attempt to barge in. The door will be locked and you will then walk away looking insulted while the person in the restroom will be relieved that they remembered to lock the door. If, by chance, you clog up the toilet with the remnants from Bottom's Up Pizza, use the plunger located directly next to the toilet and unclog it. Don't just slink away for the next person to find. Do you do this at home? I think not.

2. The copier and shredder are for everyone. That being said, if they jam, then fix it. If you don't know how to fix it, walk around and find someone to help you. If you can't do that, then leave a note on the machine that says, "Jammed" or "Out of order".

3. Candles. I don't know where in God's green earth that you got those candles, but after being burned for three to four hours, someone in India could smell them. Your office smells like a French whorehouse and it makes me wonder if there is some other smell in your office that you are trying to cover up. The same goes for your "background" music.

4. To those employees who have thermostats in their offices: quit jacking the temperature up and down. You are the reason that the air conditioners broke last summer and the reason that many of us have fans and space heaters in our offices. Your office does not need to be the temperature of the Sahara in the winter, nor does it need to be the temperature of the North Pole in the summer. Leave the freaking thing at about 70 degrees and live with it. Others are counting on you to learn this principle.

5. To those of you sitting in the small break room for hours hogging it, please keep in mind that some of us would like to eat our lunch between the hours of 10:00 and 2:00 and not in our offices. Take your 30 minute lunch break and then return to your office to work. Share! The fact that one or two of the bosses are sitting in there with you does not make it okay. It makes you look like a suck up.

6. Your joy of singing does not translate into my joy of listening. You are not the next Fantasia, Beyonce, Mary J. or anyone else. You cannot sing and if you feel the need, then close your office door and sing quietly.

7. Stop walking by my office looking in. Nothing amazing is going on in there, except for work and some internet surfing. Since my computer faces away from the door, I know that you can't really see what I am doing other than sitting behind my desk doing whatever I am doing at the time. Walking by my office 20+ times per day looking in is kind of silly, don't you think? You will not catch me picking my nose, scratching my crotch, farting, doing drugs or engaging in any compromising positions, so stop trying.

These are simply guidelines for office work. Please feel free to print and post on a bulletin board in your office in hopes that someone will read it and correct their misdeeds.

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(Not so) Random quote of the day: The brain is an amazing machine. It turns on when you wake up in the morning and doesn't stop till you step into the office.

Apple unveils the iRack

2007-04-26T21:39:00.001-07:00

Chuck brought my attention to this little MAD tv snippet. It's a funny, clever satire of the whole Iraq situation. Check it out.

In other news, I'm up playing bass again. I'll be making a small appearance at Wordstock IV as bassist in Niki's backing band. I'll be honored to perform with the likes of Mike D., Eli, Mak, and of course, Niki. With me there it seems like a human version of the "what doesn't belong" quiz. The elements of the band that are currently in the continental US will be making an appearance as the opening band for Red Sky 04/27/2007 sans our drummer and 2nd guitarist. See you there (maybe I'll try to sell you a sticker or something)?

Legos!!!

2007-04-16T15:52:00.000-07:00

The very sight of these little blocks takes me back to a time when I was obsessed with building everything imaginable with them. Countless hours spent building something only to lose interest in it less than a day after it's complete and take it apart in pursuit of making something even more ambitious. Countless family day mornings and rainy days have fallen prey to this timeless toy. At the ripe old age of 11 I swore them off and declared that I've "put away childish things". But the sight of a child playing with Legos will still bring back memories of years past.
This site has some pretty amazing pictures. If I knew then that people could get paid to build things with Legos it probably would have been right up there in my list of preferred professions alongside firefighter, policeman, and Survival Sam.

The Brick Testament is always a good one too.

Your Worst Nightmare

2007-04-08T23:26:00.000-07:00

So, I got back to the trail head after running a 5 mile, 45 minute, mountainous loop trail run. I reach into my pocket and guess what I find? A SNAKE!!! (grins thinking of the shudder this will bring to a certain someone...) But I digress. No, I reached into my pocket and guess what I found? Not the car keys. Thats for sure. I'd been running an unfamiliar trail and had been referencing a map that I had been keeping in the same pocket as my car key. I suppose at some point while whipping out the map the keys had come out too and with the sandy/dirt trail it hadn't made a sound as it hit the dirt.
So I'm there at the trail head, looking forlornly at my car (where was my rope and knife when I needed it?) and taking a quick sit rep (situation report). I wished it was a bad dream. I wanted to wake up. A Mexican guy sees me in distress and ventures a guess. "Ju lose jor keys, man?" How could you tell? I suppose he's seen that look before. This was bad on so many levels. Sit rep - No key, no money, no phone, in the middle of nowhere. Even if I could borrow a phone, I don't know my house phone number by heart. I thought, ok...I could call my old house in NY and ask them to find a number and call...wait...no other drivers home today who could even come to pick me up anyway...a no parking after dusk. Will tow sign...a tow truck would come and tow the car out of here at my expense. pretty much I had no choice. I had to run the loop again. Retracing my steps in hopes that I could locate my key lying somewhere along this 3 meter wide 5 mile long trail consisting of sand at times, rocks and twigs at other times, packed dirt at others.
I prayed so hard that I would find it on my first pass. I wouldn't have enough light or energy to run it too many times. There were areas on the trail that were plain and easy to scan but parts of the trail were covered in small rocks, twigs, sand and crevasses. Any of which could conceal my key. I scanned as best as I could and kept running.
I got to about the halfway point when a group of people I passed earlier in my actual run came into view. I asked them if they just so happened to see a single key lying around on the trail. You're one lucky guy! the man tells me as he dangles the key in his hand. No, luck had nothing to do with it. If anything lucks what took the keys away from me. Prayer and a good Samaritan brought it back. They told me they'd found the key and picked it up and were expecting to find someone searching the ground. Not someone making a second circuit.
I thanked them profusely, collected the key (firmly held in my hand this time), and started running back. I couldn't help but think that with the elaborate network of trails they could just have easily been on a different trail and missed me entirely. Then what? They would have had my key and I would still be running endless loops searching for something that was no longer there? That was a pretty scary thought.
In any case I'm finding a better way to store my key on my person when I run. Any suggestions? Tie it to my shoelace. Tie it to the drawstring on my shorts. Buy shorts with a key keeper on it...
And let this be a lesson to any of you runners out there. It's a pretty hopeless feeling that I hope you'll never have to experience.

Running the Back End of Daley Ranch

2007-04-02T20:40:00.000-07:00

In my last post I stated that I was going to hit Daley Ranch. I was wrong...or right. I hit Daley Ranch...it hit me back.
I got there and it was 82 degrees.
I went to put on some lip balm to keep my lips from getting chapped during my run. I took out my lip balm jar, opened the lid and the contents spilled all over me. The heat had melted it into molten butter.
Undeterred, I got out of the car and hit the trail. The first 0.7 miles was deceptively serene. The path went up and down slight rolling hills much of which was covered from the sun by a light forest. It's so peaceful that you almost forget you're running. It lulls you into a false sense of security. Then from one step to the next it strips you of all your creature comforts. The forest which so nicely shaded you is replaced by waist high cacti and sage brush. Not a single tree to take shade under. The rolling hills turned into a blazing path that lead, seemingly, straight up the mountain. What's more, it never ends. It just goes up and into a turn. You go around that turn and it goes up and into another turn. Ad infinitum. It's definitely a run that'll make you force yourself each step of the way. From the feeling in my legs I could almost understand how they came to call it Burnt Mountain. Coming down the mountain it was a struggle to slow myself so as not to destroy my knees. Suffice it to say, it was a pretty intense 5 miles. I'll be back.
Note the more than 600ft. climb.

On a scary note, apparently I zone out after runs sometimes. A while back I got into the car after a run, to head home. I drove a short way and came to an intersection and thought to myself how odd it was that the stop sign was facing me but was on the opposite side of the road from me. Then the realization sank in (pretty slowly at first). I had pulled onto and had been driving on the wrong side of the road. Much like I would be doing if I was in Japan. I shuddered as I pulled back over the right side of the road.

Offering a new kind of connection?

2007-04-01T09:40:00.000-07:00

Good job, Google! This morning Google announced a new form of internet connection. Considering our current (deceptively high-tech-sounding) satellite connection, I am almost willing to give TiSP a shot. Here I stand. Plunger at the ready. I can do no other.

In other news, I just had to take one of these cheezy photos...As a new dad, I have to try it all.

(Not So) Random quote: Australia is an outdoor country. People only go inside to use the toilet. And that's only a recent development. -Barry Humphries
Well, here's another reason.

I gotta go on a run. Hittin' Daley Ranch today.

And here I was feeling all good about myself...

2007-03-28T11:34:00.000-07:00

...then I came across this. All of a sudden my rugged trail runs seem like a fart in a whirlwind. Carrying along a rope and knife for either hanging or ritual disembowelment for failing to complete a run? Geez. Now THAT'S hard core.

It is March. It is midnight. Snow still covers the trails of Mount Hiei, which lies just northeast of the ancient city of Kyoto, in central Japan. His outfit is pure white -- the color of death -- the same thing he would be dressed in at his own funeral. It is cotton and consists of a short kimono undershirt, pants, hand and leg covers, a long outer robe and a priest's outer vestment.

He wraps a white "cord of death‚" around his waist with a sheathed knife tucked inside. Tendai Buddhist tradition dictates that if Kakudo does not complete his prescribed marathon runs and walks, and all the accompanying tasks, he must take his own life by either hanging or disemboweling himself. He also carries a small bag that holds his secret holy book, which will guide him on his journey and help him remember the 250 prayer stops to make along his 18-mile trip around Mount Hiei. Some of those stops will be to honor monks of the past who did not make it and died by suicide. Kakudo also carries candles, matches, a small bag of food offerings to the deities, and a rosary.

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to get my rope and knife ready for my Santa Margarita River Trail Run.

Yup, and now the ceiling is the floor.

2007-03-22T16:35:00.000-07:00

"We think that being more organized and ordered and neat is a good thing and it turns out, that's not always the case," said Freedman.

"Most of us are messy, and most of us are messy at a level that works very, very well for us," he said in an interview. "In most cases, if we got a lot neater and more organized, we would be less effective." more

It figures, doesn't it? Next up, "How driving drunk saves lives."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(Not So) Random Quote: A cluttered desk could be representation of a cluttered mind. One can only imagine what an empty desk might represent.

Rise

2007-03-19T13:05:00.000-07:00

Here's a elevation chart for a run I did a few days ago. Check out the rapid elevation change in relation to mileage. Leaves your legs with a sensation not unlike the feeling you get after you've just used your legs as torches...oO(Run with torches to light the dim stable...man, that's an odd mental picture...delete, delete, delete.)
Props to my main woman, Connie for pointing me to the website that supplied this graph. Fo shizzle, my nizzle!
---------------------------------------------------------------
Quote: (overheard converstation)
(Person 1): Eugh, rap is just missing one letter. c.
(Person 2): rapc?
(Person 1): ...
(Person 1): Crap you idiot. you put the c on the other end
(Person 2): oic
(Person 1): Though you could also say it's missing an e
(Person 2): wtf is erap?
* Person 1 bangs his head repeatedly against a wall

Setting the Record Straight

2007-03-16T16:41:00.000-07:00

After reading a blog post I thought it would be a good idea to set the record straight (I think) on something. It's something that seems to be a common phrase, misconception or reaction, if you will, by many women.

It's the whole, "so and so saw me naked (in whole or in part) and you should have seen the look on his face. That look of disgust..." or "I'd wear that revealing outfit, but I might cause you irreparable mental damage..." or "It kinda looked like he wanted to have his eyes put out..." You know what I mean. We've all heard it before.

The way I see it (and I believe most men would back me up here):
Seeing a woman naked (accidentally or otherwise/naked or otherwise) is alot like sex. Even if it's bad it's still pretty good.

I just wanted everyone to know my stance on it so you can stop saying it around/to me...unless you look like this
P.S. to said blogger: You're beautiful and you wouldn't scare anybody with that...

Viva Santa Margarita River Trail

2007-03-11T17:12:00.000-07:00

I ran the Santa Margarita River Trail today in its entirety. 5.8 miles of unforgiving steep hills and a couple river crossings where you have to take your shoes off and wade through. All this with the sun beating down on me. I love pushing myself like that. It's interesting to note that the trail markers have arrows telling you which direction you take to stay on the "SM Trail". True in more ways than 1.
It was a pretty satisfying run. It got real satisfying the further I got from the trail head. After the first 2.5 miles or so I saw nobody else on the trail. I love that feeling of leaving the crowd behind.
I got home and did some work on the squat rack and leg curls. I'm feeling that runner's high right about now.

Unquestionable Facts

2007-03-09T22:14:00.000-08:00

-Competition is healthy
-If you have your health you have everything
-You only hurt the ones you love

Logically, since competition is healthy - and when you have your health, you have everything - it follows that when you have competition, you have everything. And when you have everything, nobody else can have anything because you have it all. Therefore, if people want something, they have to beg you for it.

When you make people beg, it hurts their pride. And since we know that we only hurt the ones we love, then logically it must be true that competition makes us love everyone. To summarize this chain of logic:

Competition = Health = Everything = Begging = Hurt = Love

So in order to generate as much love as possible, you need plenty of competition!

...But don't let anyone know that this is what you're trying to do. To put it a little muddier, never let them know that you know what they think you don't know, that you know....you know?

Epiphany

2007-03-06T23:10:00.000-08:00

I just had one of those moments...those moments that come and go but leave us with that taste...kind of like a few hours after you've had a dairy product but didn't brush your teeth afterwards, except not quite as pungent. Ok, never mind, it was nothing like that.

I just looked at alot of the blogs that are abound nowadays and something bothered me. The titles to the blogs people run (not so much the URLs, just the blog headers) seem so...empty, so meaningless, so generic , so...frivolous. It got me thinking. Then it got me to look at my own past blog titles (musings of a wannabe Flea, A wannabe Flea's derailed trains of thought) and I thought, "Wow! It's ME TOO!!!" It really disturbed me. I wanted my blog title to mean something. To have it be a testament to who I am and what I strive to be or do. Sure I wannabe an amazing bassist but even that pales in comparison to what I most want to be. I want THAT reflected in a witty, unique, succinct, but cryptic sort of way.

To that end, I'll be renaming my blog. Please bear with me as the names may vary as I go through the process of finding a name that aptly describes a less shallow side of me. In my epic search I may never find said name but "long walk, part of gift"...I hope.

Feeling inspired?

2007-03-06T14:28:00.000-08:00

Check out the stuff they have on this site.
Especially the mugs.
That'll keep you happy and motivated!
Death to depression!!! Amen?

Edit: for the next 24 hours that site is password protected to keep out all but the closest insiders. I will reveal it to you and only you.

Username: COWER
Password: TRANSAURUS

I leave Japan for 1 year and look at what they get into...

2007-03-01T10:20:00.000-08:00

"Cleaning the toilet to attract luck" published this month is the latest in a series of books advising readers on how to attract good fortune using a brush and an array of cleaning fluids. More

I guess that's one MORE incentive to really clean our toilets (Cleaning toilets - not just a weekly event, now it's a way of life). Our good fortune depends on it!

(Not so) Random quote of the day: Sometimes life can be one big toilet. So for all our sakes, don't make waves!

D-day +3

2007-02-26T19:00:00.000-08:00

Yeah, she's such a cutie. She's also very picky and seems very high maintenance. Then again, she's only been around for 3 days so I guess I better give her the benefit of the doubt and not rag on her just yet :p

It looks like...me?

2007-02-24T07:18:00.000-08:00

Welcome to Earth

2007-02-24T01:02:00.000-08:00

Kaitlyn Misaki, 7LB 15OZ girl, first child to Phil and Timna takes her first breath at Best Start Birth Center. Photos coming shortly.

Is it a boy or a girl?

2007-02-23T17:17:00.000-08:00

...Gee I hope so!!! (Jumps on the rollercoaster yelling "WEEEEEEEE!!!!")
17:20. Pray. Pray hard that we'll make it through this, the day of days (Or possibly a long night). Safe, quick, (relatively) easy delivery. Now, please pass the can of Monster...

Problem-Solving Flow Chart

2007-02-21T14:08:00.000-08:00

Something to help guide us through those sticky situations we (sometimes) get ourselves in.
(Not So) Random Quote: It's not our mistakes, but how we choose to deal with them that define our character.

Earth: Save Me!!!

2007-02-18T23:38:00.000-08:00

I just watched An Inconvenient Truth. Pretty compelling argument coming from someone who claimed to have invented the internet. But in all seriousness I do commend the guy's zealousness and dedication. He also makes a pretty good case for the Environmental Movement, Global Warming, and the need for a grass-roots-level mindset change with much wit and playfulness. Sure it may just be another Supersize Me, but like my approach to that, I'm not taking any chances. May those living at sea level forgive me for that plastic bottle I threw into the regular trash last week instead of the recycle bin.

What gets us into trouble is not what we don't know. It what we know for sure that just ain't so. -Mark Twain

Shameless plug: Recycle. It may be an inconvenience but walk if you don't need to drive. Save on electricity. Not only will the planet thank you, your budget will too.

No, I haven't been brainwashed.

...any day now...(tap, tap, tap)

2007-02-13T22:35:00.000-08:00

I'm splurging this week. I'm gonna break all boundaries and make ANOTHER post this week while I dare the gods of routine to strike me dead with a bolt of lightning (unlike Franklin, I'll stay away from kites so as not to make their jobs easier).

Well, it IS Valentines Day eve. (3 days past due date and still no baby) I could bore you with a Wikipedia cut-and-paste story of St. Valentine and Emperor Claudius II Gothicus, but then again why would I waste your time and mine on something we've probably already read or heard numerous times from the time we were little.

Instead I think I'll leave you with what I think Valentine's Day should be about:
(God = Love) + (Jesus & God are 1) + (Jesus is in your heart and encompasses your very mind and being)
Conclusion: You ARE love. Be that for whoever you can today.
(Yes, even if that DOES mean reaching out beyond that one special person in your life and making your life more about community than individual)

(Not So) Random Quote: What is sacred? Of what is the spirit made? What is worth living and dying for? The answer to each is the same. Only Love.

FLASH!!! (crackle) AAAAARRRRRGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! eek! (Thud)

I Guess I'm In Luck!

2007-02-10T15:29:00.000-08:00

Study: Men's perspiration boosts sexual arousal in women.

Sweet!

Phil to World...do you copy?

2007-02-10T12:17:00.000-08:00

True to my form, I've gone over a week since the last post so it's now safe to update my blog. Alot has happened since my last post. We had a vacation has ended, a feast was had, I finally got back to work after "slacking off" for 2 weeks, and most importantly, I taught a black person how to say "Fo Shizzle, My Nizzle".
I also rediscovered the joys of trail running. I normally don't have enough daylight after work to run outside yet (crosses fingers and waits for DST). I'm going to try for 2 times a week from now on, just to keep it real between nature and I. It's simply beautiful (if you don't look at the dog and horse manure at various intervals on the trail. So far I have 2 trail runs:
Rock Mountain Trail (0.7 miles up): Short run (5 Min) but it gives a good burn. I find it's a nice booster if done right before a longer, lower intensity run.
Santa Margarita River Trail (over 5 miles. distance varies depending on routes you take) Watch for dung.
When combined, these trail runs will give your legs a good pump.

Now if you will please take a moment to pray for this hero.

(Not So) Random Quote: I think we're all heroes if you catch us at the right time.

The Real Reason The Colts Won

2007-01-28T11:55:00.000-08:00

I know this is a little late but I found it lying around and thought it was pretty funny:

found on another sports blog:

Assured that February 4 a very blue Sunday for the Chicago Bears, an Indianapolis company is sending the Colts to Miami with a song.

Replete with a Real Men of Genius-esque lead and soulful background vocals, "Blue Sunday" asks
if we saw what Peyton did "to the Brady Bunch" before insisting that "Belichick never saw it comin', never had a hunch."

Well sure, but who did? No one on the planet could have imagined that Peyton Manning would be slick enough to knock Tom Brady out on the sidelines, throw on his uniform, and direct the Patriots' final drive.

Length = Width of a Tennis Court

2007-01-28T11:23:00.000-08:00

KUALA LUMPUR, Jan 26 (Reuters Life!) - Guard dogs protecting a fruit orchard in Malaysia have met their match -- a 7.1-metre-long (23-ft-long) python that swallowed at least 11 hounds before it was finally discovered by villagers.

"I was shocked to see such a huge python," orchard-keeper Ali Yusof told the New Straits Times in an article published beneath a picture of the captured snake, which was almost long enough to span the width of a tennis court and as thick as a tree trunk.

Villagers did not harm the snake, which was tied to a tree then handed to wildlife officials, the paper said on Friday.

That's great...5 minutes before we all turn into radioactive pumpkins.

2007-01-17T16:58:00.000-08:00

The Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists (BAS) is moving the minute hand of the Doomsday Clock two minutes closer to midnight. It is now 5 minutes to midnight. A reflection of global failures to solve the problems posed by nuclear weapons and the climate crisis. The last time the clock was adjusted was after the events of 9/11. Read More...

(Falls to knees, looks up with despair, clenched fist...) You maniacs! Darn you all! Darn you all to he.....ck!

(Not So) Random Quote: A man should be just cultured enough to be able to look with suspicion upon culture.

D-day +1

2007-01-14T16:04:00.000-08:00

Jump off at 21:30. Our vacation began last night with a drive south of the border. 2nd time across the US/Mexico border and I'm still amazed at how loose the screening is on the way into Mexico. It's pretty much non-existant. Seems like half the world going the other way, though. From the looks of it though, the drive back up to the US should give us...lots of company. oO(Try not to think about it. Enjoy vacation first!)
The beach is...RIGHT THERE! (now THAT'S what I call a beach house) I look out the window and BOOM! Right there! A beach! Crashing waves and all. The temp's still kinda cold...a little too cold to get wet without anything to get my heart beating and my sweat glands working.
We'll see. If a good beach football or soccer game happens, maybe some post-game bathing in the Pacific.
One beef I have though...Blogger and Google down here are all in Spanish!!! I can guess my way around but overall it's pretty inconvenient.
During a buffet breakfast overlooking the beach we had the entertainment of watching 4 "surfers" (creatures know on my side of the planet as oka-surfer). Not the North Shore or anything but still pretty good. I swear to God, they didn't catch a single wave the whole time I was watching (over 1 and a half hours). As they got out of the water I could pretty much recreate their conversation:
Surfer 1: Sup, Brah?
Surfer 2, 3 and 4: Sup
Surfer 3: Did you catch any?
Surfer 2: Nah, You?
Surfer 3: Nah.
Surfer 4: Yeah, the waves suck today...

Random wisdom: It's better to be silent and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.

Killer deals (starting at $0.01) on certain domestic flights

2007-01-12T16:10:00.000-08:00

I just came across this and thought I'd share the love. If you're planning on traveling and just so happen to be flying one of those routes, today is your lucky day. I wish they had more of a selection flying out of LAX. Then maybe I could finally afford that dream vacation in Hawaii.
But hey, San Diego ain't bad either. We just went into autumn. The trees are changing color (or so people tell me...) and leaves falling...everywhere. Still pretty warm though. Hell, who needs Hawaii anyway... :p

Random Wisdom: It is better fail in originality than to succeed at imitation.

Aloha!

Shoes Discounted

2007-01-11T14:50:00.000-08:00

Please don't walk a mile in my shoes. Then what would I have to walk around in? Use this coupon and walk a mile in your OWN shoes.

So there. Now don't say I never gave you anything

So... I says to myself, I says...

2007-01-10T20:59:00.000-08:00

Around this time next month I'll be a dad. I never thought the day would come...well, I kinda did know that it WOULD come at some point. But under the relative safety of "sometime" it's never quite as daunting. But having it this close and quickly bearing down on you...slightly unnerving at times. "Don't be scared" They say. "It's supposed to be exciting" they say. I'd think that being shot at would be pretty exciting too...but I'd STILL be scared. Then again I suppose a healthy fear of rearing a child is a good thing. I wouldn't want to think I had it all under control only to find out too late that I'm NOT really prepared.
I always thought Will Smith's song Just the Two of Us was such a good example of what kind of a dad to be. I just want to get it right...

Bottom line: I just want to be a good dad.

Well, anyway...ready or not...here you come. To steal a line from a song, "Welcome to this place, I'll show you everything..."

Random thought: Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.

update

2007-01-07T20:56:00.000-08:00

To those of you who came to my blog thinking that I haven't posted any updates since the last time you popped in...you were wrong.

...I did.

True valor is doing, without witness, what one would do before all the world.

Christmas eve

2006-12-24T19:34:00.000-08:00

I have Christmas eve off. I got up late, ate, had some Word, then I hit the gym. Now THAT is a way to kick off your Christmas. Put yourself in a good starting position for all the abuse that I'll be inflicting on myself over the next 36 hours. Nothing like creating a small caloric deficit to put you at the starting line of this, the greatest food (and drink, don't forget drink) fest of the year. After a good workout and the puddles of sweat excreted, I thought (foolishly) that it would be a good idea to jump into the pool. We had almost 80 degree weather outside. But the pool...oh the pool... It was positively...electrifying. It felt like being poked with a thousand needles of all different lengths all at the same time. It was pretty refreshing once...I got all warmed back up with a nice hot shower. I just think it's amazing that I can still swim on Christmas eve (if you can consider my little dive and "crazy-stroke of death" streak to the other side of the pool a swim).

We have a little Christmas eve party lined up for tonight. Should be a nice, quiet, subdued affair.

Will wonders ever cease?

2006-12-23T11:12:00.000-08:00

Re-write the almanacs! It actually rained here...during the day. It wasn't like a tsuyu (Japanese monsoon) or anything but still. I don't think it's rained here during the day since I've been here. Kinda reminded me of why I don't like rain and why I like the climate in which I live now...pretty much like a desert.

Then again there is a drawback. With weather this warm and hardly any precipitation it hardly seems or feels like Christmas. In my mind, Christmas is synonymous with cold temperatures, stuff falling out of the sky, and avoiding frostbite. So, when I see houses all lit up and lawn ornaments everywhere, I get confused. To borrow a Babyface phrase, "it feels like spring time in winter, it feels like Christmas in June..." Nonetheless, Christmas will go on, with or without me...so I may as well hitch a ride. So in the true spirit of the season, Merry Christmas and my God bless us, every one.

Well, I will probably neglect my blog over the stretch between Christmas and New Years for a work push (then again I've been pretty negligent as of late).

Oh, a random bit of wisdom. It may sound dumb or atarimae (translated to "no duh!) but WEAR YOUR SEATBELT!!! It doesn't matter if it's a short trip or if you're sitting in the back. Buckle Up! Or else, one day you'll feel really stupid.

Now for a random mind bender: It's what's not there that makes what's there what it is.

That poor kid...

2006-12-16T11:24:00.000-08:00

...I'm talking about the one on the right .

The face of fear

2006-12-07T18:07:00.000-08:00

If this picture doesn't mean anything to you, what can I say? If you don't get it, you don't get it. But those of you who do "get it"...it still scares the hell out of me.

What a freak!!!

2006-11-13T12:42:00.000-08:00

And they put him in the Guinness Book of World Records for this...? 2 ft. 6-inch-long western diamondback rattlesnakes (x10) for 12.5 seconds. Rattlesnakes! I say, give him the medal of honor!

I guess snakes don't give him the heebidigeebies...

There it is...

2006-11-10T16:51:00.000-08:00

Here's my little alien

How ironic...

2006-11-07T15:15:00.000-08:00

Accused forger free on bail with fake check

The Associated Press
Published November 7, 2006, 5:52 AM CST

DECATUR, Ill. -- Central Illinois authorities are searching for a former inmate and alleged forger accused of using a counterfeit cashier's check to bail herself out of jail.

Officials say 37-year-old Monica Nicholson was jailed Sept. 18 on fraud charges involving bad checks and ATM transactions.

She posted bond Oct. 2 using a cashier's check for more than $10,000.

By the time Macon County Jail officials realized the check wasn't legitimate, Nicholson was gone.

Two of her alleged accomplices in the cashier's check scam were arrested in southern Illinois over the weekend. Nicholson and a third man are being sought.

The Macon County Sheriff's department said officials are treating the case as a jail break.

The jail isn't accepting cashier's checks for the time being.

---------------------------------
Man, I bet that's embarassing.

Oh! Happy Day!

2006-11-02T20:31:00.000-08:00

I swear, these guys must have learned English via chatting online.

...on the bright side though, I made it through the provisional license stage without killing myself or anyone else...not even any small animals. Sure, once, I almost drove onto a street looking in the wrong direction for traffic. Sure, once, I almost pulled out of a driveway and on to the left side of the road (like NORMAL people). But I managed to survive all that...Thanks to the patience of my ever-cringing "licensed-drivers-over-the-age-of-18" I got the whole "get-used-to-driving-in-the-USA" thing. Hell, I even passed the driving test...for real. Now I'm a licensed driver in 2 countries, the US and Japan (or as the majority of Californian call it, "Hapon").
I'm so jazzed about it! My 1-year handicap of not being able to drive is over...QUICK!!! GET ME INSURED!!!

FDA Bans Vegemite

2006-10-23T14:54:00.000-07:00

FDA Bans Vegemite

The US FDA has banned importation of the Australian vegetable spread Vegemite. Apparently the spread has been deemed illegal as it contains folic acid - which, according to the FDA, must only be present in breads and cereals.

This is a bizarre and inane story - but it highlights the stupidity of bureaucracy gone wrong.

While charlatans peddle dodgy supplements and pharmaceuticals push approved drugs with dangerous side effects... Australians are checked for jars of Vegemite when they enter the country.

Given the taste of the stuff I'm sure many kids will breathe a sigh of relief as they reach for their jar of Nutella (have you seen how much sugar is in that stuff?)

---------------Taken from an Article on the Diet Blog-----------------

Ahhhh! I feel justified in my hatred of that stuff. I KNEW there was something wrong with it. How could it be good for you when it tastes so wrong. Next time someone asks if I eat Vegemite, I'll reply with "no, I want to live, thank-you-very-much". Justice has been done!

Zombie

2006-10-21T07:55:00.000-07:00

Ok, so we had a birthday bash for Michelle last night. It was a great event. Wine, cheese, crackers and olives type of event. Alot of people in the area came for the party (actually it was more of a wine-tasting sort of atmosphere than a party. People talking over a glass of wine [or 2 or 3 or...] and cheese...[wait...that makes it sound like we served cheese in a glass...???].oO(Ok, I'm confused)) It went over great. Lots of people (sans the usual noise accompanying a typical party such as loud people, loud music and loud clothes [aside from Hiki, of course, who always shows up in some cool/outrageous outfit]). The only problem was that I would have to wake up at 05:00 AM (in the morning) to man a phone at the office. I enjoyed the party scene as long as I could but by around midnight, I began to feel the urge to get to bed. It was probably my future self going back in time to tip me off to the...discomfort...I would be in if I failed to get to bed at my earliest possible convenience.
Unfortunately, my future self failed to fill in some details that could have helped make my morning easier. For starters, the level of discomfort could have been specified (excellent, good, fair, poor, LUDICROUS), and a little forecast calling for SORE THROAT and heads-up on LOSING MY VOICE could have helped.

So, here I am answering phone calls with a hoarse and sometimes non-existant voice. Not too cool. But hey! At least this is not an everyday deal. I'll make it...I THINK...

What do you think?

2006-10-20T14:49:00.000-07:00

Cuz I don't know what THEY were thinking...
um...Wow...um...I'm...speechles...

at last...real Japanese food

2006-10-14T20:01:00.000-07:00

Timna and I went to a local Japanese restaurant today. We'd heard some pretty good things about the place, and being a "Japanese-food-starved-Japanese-person" I HAD to give it a go. As soon as I walked in, I had my reservations. I couldn't see a single Japanese-looking kitchen staff in the restaurant. We went ahead and ordered. I ordered a "Banzai Ramen" (yeah the name kinda gave me second thoughts too...it sounds like a typical Americanized name for a Japanese dish) and Timna ordered a chicken and beef teriyaki dish with a side of salad and miso soup. As we were waiting for our order, I chatted up the lady that seemed to be in charge and found out she WAS actually Japanese. She spoke Japanese and was from Hiroshima. That gave me some hope. When my ramen arrived all my fears were allayed. It was a great ramen. Tasted great! Timna's Teriyaki was amazing. Real Koshihikari rice, sengiri purple cabbage, potato salad with macaroni in it, even the salad dressing was Japanese...I couldn't ask for more. The price was very reasonable: 600 yen for the ramen, 700 for the teriyaki (with salad, miso soup, and rice). The amount you get is pretty good too. Leaves you feeling very full and in need of serious workout time.
After having eaten "sushi" with sesame seeds on the outside of a roll and the nori on the inside, looking over the menus of extremely over-priced restaurants, etc...this restaurant was a breath of fresh air. I'm definately going back.
Jesus loves me!

Teri Cafe Teriyaki & Noodle House
2249 El Camino Real, Oceanside; (760) 722-8399. Open daily from 11 a.m. to 9 p.m.

finally...again...

2006-10-10T22:05:00.000-07:00

Those of you who've been reading my blog over a long period of time (as if I've been blogging since the beginning of the blog boom) know, I've been trying to get a driver's license in the US for quite some time without success due to my visa application status etc.
I was finally able to go into the DMV here in California and apply (successfully) for a driver's license. I went to the DMV (to all non-familiar-with-American-terminology-ites: DMV=Department of Mexican Visitors. Ok, it actually means Department of Motor Vehicles. To all clueless people: it's where you go to get your driver's license.) and true to standard government form, I arrived there and stood in a line. Now this was no ordinary line. I had to stand in that line to tell the receptionist what I needed to do there, and I was promptly given a piece of paper with a number so that I could wait in line again for an available service window. (waiting in a line to go wait in another line...efficient.) After an hour and a half of waiting I was told to report to "window 17". "Yes!" I thought, "finally". But no, I got to window 17 and there was already a line there too.
Once I finally got to the front of the line it wasn't that bad. Just your typical questions and showing of photo ID, etc (me proudly showing my newly aquired Green Card, though I suppose it's not something to be too proud of in Southern California so close to...anyhew.).
Next was the written test. I gotta say I was pretty nervous. When I took the test there were quite a few odd questions that I hadn't really read up on and I was certain I would get some of them wrong. In the end it wasn't as bad as I thought it was and I passed the test with only 1 wrong answer.
I finally have a learner's permit (not too cool coming from a 26 year-old). I console myself with the fact that I was licensed in Japan. I guess now I'll have to start practicing driving on the right side of the road and on the left side of the car. Should prove to be scary for anyone I drive with, at least for the first bit. Personally, if I were to drive with me, I'd give me the creeps.

Thus far...

2006-10-08T11:07:00.000-07:00

...I am loving the climate here. The Southern California area has got to have the best weather in the world, or at least close to it. It hardly ever rains, the air is dry (not humid), the temperature is warm. I'm really digging the weather.
The Lord is so good to us.
The house is great. It's one of those beautiful "surface job" houses where everything looks nice where you can see it. Apparently the actual structure isn't that good but hey so long as you don't take the peel off and see what's underneath it's all good, right?
It's got a pool, 4 car garage, not much of a yard but more than what you'd call a yard in Japan, large rooms with walk-in closets, split level living room and den, marble top kitchen counter, and (my personal favorite) makeshift home gym (complete with weight machine, ellyptical trainer, treadmill, dumbell set, bench, barbell set, pull up/dip station, etc.), not to mention the great people that make up the home.
They've made settling into our new home a very smooth, comfortable, enjoyable time of transition and been very supporting and accomodating. Very Family-like. It helped remind me of why I love our Family. No matter where you go you can expect the same level of hospitality and love (it's more than can be said of a home someone I know moved into and was promptly "encouraged" into leaving). In all, thanks to everyone involved, our move has been very easy.

Below are a few links to blogs that some of the people in our home run

http://www.samandtammy.com
http://www.darrenandclaire.com
http://www.djohnson.info
http://apuddleofmud.com

the great wall

2006-10-02T00:05:00.000-07:00

something I saw...

Arnold Schwarzenegger wants to build a big wall all along the Mexican border to keep illegal immigrants out...
...who do you think is going to be building that wall?

Sad farewell

2006-09-24T17:19:00.000-07:00

I was reading the newspaper yesterday and it announced the decommissioning of the F-14 Tomcat fleet. The muscle car of the avation world, an icon of strength, speed, and agility. By far, the coolest looking fighter plane every to fly in combat. (removes hat and places it over left chest)...(cue in the theme to Top Gun)

South of the border...and it's not all bad...

2006-09-24T17:09:00.000-07:00

Well, like I said, if I get range in Mexico I'll write.

Crossing the border INTO Mexico was pretty much a sham. Just to make things simpler, we all got out of the vehicle and walked across into Mexico. It was pretty wierd though. The only "processing" that was done at the border was a guy sitting by a wall, telling the most Gringo-ish of our bunch to push a button. Before we knew it, we had walked into Mexico. We didn't even realize it. No orders to present our passports, no stamp to admit us into Mexico, NOTHING! I guess they don't have too much of an illegal-American-alien problem.

I'm writing this from a posh room that overlooks the beach, in a beautiful resort in Tijuana. We'll be here for a seminar for the next few days. Should be exhilirating. Already bumped into a few familiar faces from years past as well as from WSIII.

On the move again...

2006-09-23T07:53:00.000-07:00

Well, this is it. I'm moving again. Next time I post, I'll be posting from...not...here. Depending on whether I have access at a seminar I'll be attending or not, my next post may come from Mexico. If I don't have access there, my next post will be from my new home...Sunny California! Whew! and not a moment too soon. Things have been steadily getting nippier here by the day. I'm sure the Lord timed this just so I don't have to spend winter in Upstate NY.

However, I WILL miss you all, everyone in the home I've lived in this past year. The people, the lessons learned, the difficulties we went through, overcoming those difficulties, things we built, things we (well, me, but I like to say "we") more often broke, (ethnic) painting jobs, moving from one place to another, and another, and another (not counting the u-haul storage hauls), seemingly insurmoutable obstacles encountered and tackled one step (or day) at a time, winter olympics in our back yard, BBQs, burning gas cans (still makes me shudder), creating crop circles in the lawn with the lawn mower, discovering that screaming like a girl can save your life, etc... but in the end working side by side through thick and thin served to bring me closer to you, to be able to stand in solidarity, camaradarie. With out that, we (or maybe just "I") would not have made it.

As time goes by, my life will likely change, and I'll adjust and settle into my new locale. But I will always look back on this past year with fondness, a wry smile, and an occasional chuckle at the many experiences I've had here with you. Plus this will always be the place where, and the people in front of whom, I married my wife (Timna).

To: James, Jenny, Trust, Tracy, Joan, Toshi, Promise, Vicky, Terri, Tania, Mark, Tiffy, Katrina, Trevor, Troy, Jordan, Brandon, Tina, Kay-lee, Ryan, Bradyn, and Jazmin,

Thank you for having us as part of the team this past year! Farewell, brah!

A eulogy to Pluto

2006-09-20T12:34:00.000-07:00

Discovered in 1930 by Clyde W. Tombaugh at Lowell Observatory in Arizona, Pluto orbited beyond the orbit of Neptune.
It was smaller than any of the official planets.
Pluto rotates in the opposite direction from most of the other planets.
At times it is closer to the Sun than Neptune (as it was from January 1979 thru February 11 1999)
Surface temperature: between -235 and -210 C
Pluto's equator is at almost right angles to the plane of its orbit.

       orbit:    5,913,520,000 km from the Sun (average)
      diameter: 2274 km
      mass:     1.27e22 kg

It was classified as the ninth planet shortly after its discovery and remained so for 75 years. However, on August 24th 2006, the International Astronomers Union decided that Pluto shouldn't be classified as a planet.
What now? Only 8 planets...How am I supposed to remember their orders?...My Very Excited Mother Just Showed Us Nerds...

-------------------------------------------------------

Here's a little something I stole from philly dee's site

HEADLINE: TEACHER ARRESTED AT AIRPORT

NEW YORK — A public school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule and a calculator.

At a morning press conference, Attorney General Alberto Gonzales said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement. He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.

“Al-gebra is a problem for us,” Gonzales said. “They desire solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search ofabsolute values. They use secret code names like ‘x’ and ‘y’ and refe to themselves as ‘unknowns’, but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, ‘There are 3 sides to every triangle’.”

When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, “If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes.” White House aides told reporters they could not recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the president.

flashback

2006-09-17T20:46:00.000-07:00

A comment left on my blog reminded me of an incident almost 2 years ago. Here's an email I sent out to all my friends a day or so after it happened:

--------------Jul 24 2004------------------
I got hit by a car yesterday on my bike. The car came out of a side street while I was riding on the sidewalk and hit me from the right side. I have a small light bruise on my right leg and a small cut but otherwise I came out unscathed. The car hit me, I landed on the hood of the car, and when the driver hit the brakes, I flew about 2 meters, hit the ground and rolled (I don't remember even feeling myself hit the ground). Just like I've been told, everything from the moment I knew the car was gonna hit me to when I stopped rolling was in black and white (no color-blind jokes please, I CAN see color) and in slow motion. Amazingly I got no scratches or bruises from hitting the pavement like that in shorts and a tanktop. I got interviewed by the police for about an hour and a half and since I had no serious damage to speak of, I was able to go home. My faithful bike suffered some serious damage to the wheels and pedal gears and will most likely have to go to that big bicycle junkyard in the sky. I'll miss that thing. But one thing I can say for sure is that it could have been alot worse and I thank God for his protection as I'm sure there must have been angels putting pillows or something between me and the hood of the car and between me and the pavement as I landed on it. Normally, when you trip and fall on the pavement, YOU FEEL IT! It seriously felt SOFT when I got thrown from the car and landed on the ground. Conclusion: The police took statements and basically since I was on a sidewalk/pedestrian crossing, she didn't look before crossing, etc...

Pray before you go out, not just for your own safety and for the Lord to give you checks but also for annointing for the people around you.

accidentally "repairing" a sump pump

2006-09-14T17:42:00.000-07:00

So, the other day our sump pump stops working and I get sent to fix it...
Oh wait...rewind...
The reason we have a sump pump is:
Our laundry machine resides in a dark damp recess in the basement of our house. Getting water into the laundry machine has never been a problem but getting it to drain properly has proven to be a bit (just a little bitty tad bit) of a problem. See, there is no drainage system on the basement ground level. So anything that drains would have to drain upwards toward the ceiling of the basement where there is a drainage pipe...unfortunately, someone invented the law of gravity a zillion years ago which makes draining something upwards somewhat of an impossibility. So the guy who owned this house before had cooked up this contraption that attached to a little sink and this contraption went something like this.
Grrrrrr.....sluuurp....slurrrp....

He had a tub placed underneath the sink in the tub was a sump pump. For those of you who have no idea what a sump pump is, it's a submersible pump that you can use to empty pools, swamps, flooded basements, and your toddler's potty.
Our setup looked something like this:

This sump pump is attached to a pipe leading to the main drain where gravity would be allowed to work.
So the water would come out of the laundry machine through a flexible drain pipe, into the little sink. The water would then go down the drain hole, into the tub underneath, get pumped out via the sump pump, up the pipe and into the drain. Yeah I know, but like I've said before, we don't do "easy" here.

After abusing this little sump pump by doing about a million loads of laundry a day, it finally went on strike.

Now we're back where I left you up at the top of the page. Except I didn't really leave you there cuz I walked you through the whole lead-in to this story. What I actually left there was the story. But I degress.

With the trusty home tool kit in hand, I went to tackle this "sump pump". Actually, I had to look up "sump pump" online so I would know generally what a sump pump was so I would recognise it when I saw it. I also looked for an article on how to fix one so I would know where to start. The advice I was able to glean online told me "GO BUY A NEW PUMP!!!"
So, I went down to the basement and extracted the sump pump out of the tub. I plugged it in a different socket to see if I would get lucky. No such luck. The thing just sat there, silent. The only noise it would make is the little "click" when I tripped the lever in an attempt to turn it on. I had to scrape the thing off to free it from the years of silt and other wet goo and slime just so I could SEE the screws. Someone told me to look for a burnt motor part (which would be indicative of a burnt out motor). So I started unscrewing at a random spot, pry it open...wires and a switch. I play around with random wires and terminals. Nope, I don't see anything wrong here...I think. Lets try something/somewhere else. I got all the screws off of the other end and I start prying the lid off. Just then the lid gives way and out spills all this oil (OH NO!!! PUT IT BACK ON! PUT IT BACK ON!). But by then the entire thing was drained. That's just GREAT! The general consensus was that because the motor spends all its time submerged the oil keeps the moving parts of the motor free of water. At this point my sump pump looked much like this:

I managed to find a website that told me what to put in it (specialized motor fluid). Unfortunately, we don't have any due to us not having to tackle sump pumps on a regular basis. Well, the stuff felt close enough to motor oil to me...Quick! put motor oil inside, screw it back together, put it back on its mounting and maybe nobody will notice. About 10 minutes later I had the darn thing assembled and mounted back where it used to be. Hmm...let's just plug it back in to add to the authenticity of this hack job. Well, now that I have it back in place, it couldn't hurt to give it a test to make sure it still doesn't work. Lo and behold, not only did it turn on, it acutally pumped water out.
I'm not really sure what it was that fixed it because I KNOW it wasn't me.
I guess we'll just chock this up as another ball joint job.

how to avoid becoming a blogger...

2006-09-14T17:18:00.000-07:00

I came across a little article the other day and it went a little something like this...
http://www.wikihow.com/Dissuade-Yourself-from-Becoming-a-Blogger

nah! I'm perfectly content engraving my scrawlings on a medium so permanent that might it might last long enough to bite me in the butt later at the most inopportune time.

Oh, on the bright side...I'm now a US Green Card holder! ...man, you'd think the card would actually BE green...

parent/child dish....or some such fiddle faddle

2006-08-29T20:26:00.000-07:00

I'm so proud of myself! I made a very seeming authentic "Oyako-Domburi". For those of you who know what that is, "DUUUUUUDE!!!!" To those of you who have no idea what that is...

It's roughly translated to English as "Maam, I was drunk last night and have no idea who you are or what we did together."

Ok, actually it means, what the title says...Yes, yes, yes I'm sure that makes things about as clear as mud. But it actually means just that. You see Oyako Domburi is a quasi-traditional Japanese dish that includes both chicken and egg. Thus "parent/oya" (chicken) and "child/ko" (egg) "bowl/domburi" (hardened porcelain).

"Aw! (you say) But you're Japanese...! You SHOULD be able to cook up a Japanese dish! (you say) If you can't, what kind of Japanese are you?

Well, typically, what one would do when attempting something like this is go to the nearest asian food market and get "ingredients". Well, that would have been the easy way. Where I live, we don't do things the easy way.

In the end all I had that would have resembled "genuine" ingredients was:
Chicken
Eggs
Onions

Using a mixture of chicken broth, salt, sugar, and alot of prayer, I managed to reproduce this great traditional Japanese dish where a parent and child can be eaten out of the same bowl...

ok...that came out wrong...but nonetheless...I'm proud...I think...to have been able to make it with only American ingredients...

a few for fun

2006-08-23T15:40:00.000-07:00

Here are a few pics to start with

(ahem) Bond...James Bond...

Gratuitous kissing shot

Honeymoon/vacation in Wildwood

long awaited vacation

2006-08-16T16:49:00.000-07:00

We had a small home wedding ceremony yesterday (pictures forthcoming) and we are now on our honeymoon/vacation. We're spending our first night of married life (we've been officially married for 8 months now but as a couple having had our official ceremony, it's our first night...) in a beautiful hotel room. Thankfully, 3 of my sisters were able to visit from Mexico helping to represent my side of the family at the wedding. Tomorrow we leave for the Atlantic City area for the rest of our vacation. I'll post again when I get back...or when I get online again.

Ball joint? Isn't that part of a human shoulder?

2006-07-20T18:11:00.000-07:00

I haven't posted in a while...mostly due to being busy along with not feeling like updating my blog was worth my very valuable time :p
OK, so I was just being lazy.

Seriously though, we have been doing some major renovating at home. There's this shed-like thing attached to the back of our house. From the looks of it, it had been built and used as a storage shed/small animal shed. We wanted to turn it into something that could be used as someone's bedroom. Yup...no small task. It's what we do... But I'll save that story for another day since we're still not finished with the shed (ahem, room).

One day Toshi (my very tall brother in law) and I were asked to change the upper ball joint on ourDodge Ram van. Somehow, Toshi and I tend to get paired up often in odd ventures like this. Interesting in a Mutt and Jeff/Tom and Jerry sort of way. Our resident mechanic had to be in a meeting and the ball joint had to be replaced right away so it could go to NYC to pick up food and distribute it to various missions. On paper that sounds like a pretty good plan... In reality, we'd never heard of a ball joint before much less seen one and basically all we really do with vehicle maintainance is change the oil and oil filter. Not to worry, we had rented a "ball joint puller/installer" to aid us in replacing the ball joint.

Now...where to begin? Where IS it? Quick! Internet! As usual, the instructions there are about as clear as mud. But then again, maybe it's because we have no idea what half the words in the instructions mean. "Take the paiorhlha with one hand and use the heaghelab to turn the qwwiohln clockwise toward the machlske as you hold your tongue to your right cheek..." Well, Tracy (our mechanic) told us WHERE the ball joint was...It's that little thing there behind every single part of the vehicle. We look behind the front wheel and sure enough, there it is. But you gotta take of the entire wheel assembly to get at it. Just getting a cotter pin out of the bolt took us around 15 minutes because of all the rust. (-_-) .oO(It's gonna be a long job.) No sooner had we started when God turns on the sprinklers. Yeah, yeah...bring it on!!! Then the wind..."OK...don't bring it on...I wasn't serious!!!" (>_<) .oO(LONG, long job.)

We finally got to where the ball joint was. Finally! The moment we'd been waiting for! Enter the "ball joint puller". By then our mechanic guy was out of his meeting and was able to come give us a hand. Following the instructions written on a card that came with "le pulleur" we made our way toward finishing the job. About 3 hours, 6 greasy hands, lots of soaked clothes later we were done.

The next day we get a call from the guys driving the van around that the ball joint was acting up again. "What? Already? We JUST changed it!...oh wait...it's Toshi and I...it figures..." They took it to a mechanic and as it turns out, the instructions on "le grand pulleur" forgot to mention that the ball joint needed to be SCREWED into place. The instructions given to us were simply to force it into place using the provided forcing tool so we, idiots that we are, obeyed the instructions.

Now when we're asked to do something that we have no idea how to do you can probably hear us mutter under our breath "oh boy...I feel a ball joint coming on"

On the bright side though, now we not only know what a ball joint is, we know how to change it too.

Mechanic Wisdom: The tightest nut will alway be in the smallest space leaving you with the least amount of space to use for leverage. When it finally comes loose, the wrench will smash your hand into the roughest spot that can be found on the underside of a vehicle.

I think this picture speaks for itself

2006-06-27T19:16:00.000-07:00

Somebody! Please drive below 40 MPH!!!

2006-06-22T11:06:00.000-07:00

You can't really tell what it says on the sign but it says use flashers below 40 miles per hour.
First thought that came to mind: "I wonder if you're allowed to use mooners? Or is this a flashers-only zone?"

In other news, Japan plays Brazil in the final game of Group F. Japan must beat Brazil by 2 goals or they will not advance to the sweet 16. Well, it's been fun! It was really the Japan Australia game that did us in...

Ja-ne! Itterashai! NIPPON!

Bass-Zamurai

2006-06-03T22:21:00.000-07:00

This is a pic of me playing at Wordstock. I think I got about as traditional as possible on stage... if I don't count a guy who wore a kilt. "I'm from Japan!!! Representin'!"

I won't tell all the bad things I did to represent/sully my country during that stretch if you don't. :p

Just love that shadow that I make...don't you?

rearview mirror view...mirror...

2006-05-27T19:51:00.000-07:00

A typical sight when checking the rearview on the way to and back from Wordstock

life flashing before my eyes...

2006-05-24T18:04:00.000-07:00

Now, that's a sight you never want to see...
...you'd have about, oh 2 seconds or so to make up your mind. I'm betting he's gonna swerve first...

The Wordstock Experience

2006-05-23T19:04:00.000-07:00

I have so many thoughts and memories crammed into my head from my time going to, attending, and returning from Wordstock. So I'll just put them in order by not putting them in any particular order besides the order in which they come to mind.

-Entering a room with over 300 people and not knowing anybody...now that's a huge contrast from my time in Japan. I pretty much knew everyone there.

-Playing on stage before said amount of people. Once you start playing, it's just you, your instrument, and your band. You really can "turn off the mechanism". I was deadly nervous until the first note rang out. From that point on, it was sheer bliss.

-Moshing and jumping as high as you can for 3 full 20-30 minute sets will render your calves useless by the next day and you wish your legs would just fall off. But you will still feel compelled to play a full game of basketball and soccer on top of another few sets of moshing.

-Sitting in a van for 3 days driving from NY to TX is more tiring than you think.

-No matter where you are in the world, you will still find people with the same goals and ideals as you. TG for the Family.

-Huge temperature difference between TX and NY.

-Apparently I still pass for a junior teen. I was stopped by security dozens of times and asked "where my team-leader was".

-Mosquitos on the Louisiana Bayou are vicious. I ended up with around 2.76 bites per square cm on my body after just one night.

-Meeting alot of new people all at once is a great experience. Trying to learn and remember their names is a logistical nightmare. Forgetting their names to their face is embarassing.

-Just practicing a song 2 days prior to showtime can cause you to change the entire musical structure of the song.

-Setting up tents in the rain blows...but if you're tired enough you get a good sleep anyway.

-Texas actually has trees and grass, not just cacti and tumbleweed.

-Tennessee is a LOOOOONNNNNGGGG state when you drive across it east to west.

There's plenty more thoughts where that came from. I have some photos too but I'll save those for future posts. Can't splurge on just one post...

gone fishin'

2006-05-09T20:54:00.000-07:00

I've been away since the first. On my way to Texas for Wordstock. I'll have pics and stories posted when I get back.

Phil

Home Improvement Tips

2006-04-07T16:54:00.000-07:00

I swear by these simple handyman rules. They come in pretty handy
when you have no idea what you're doing :)

1.  If you can't find a screwdriver, use a knife.  If
you break off the tip,
it's an improved screwdriver.

2.  Try to work alone.  An audience is rarely any
help.

3.  Above all, if what you've done is stupid, but it
works, then it isn't
stupid.

4.  Work in the kitchen whenever you can ...  many
fine tools are there, its
warm and dry, and you are close to the refrigerator.

5.  If it's electronic, get a new one ...  or consult
a twelve-year- old.

6.  Stay simple minded: Get a new battery; replace the
bulb or fuse; see if
the tank is empty; try turning the switch "on" ; or
just paintover it.

7.  Always take credit for miracles.  If you dropped
the alarm clock while
taking it apart and it suddenly starts working, you
have healed it.

8.  Regardless of what people say, kicking, pounding,
and throwing sometimes
DOES help.

9.  If something looks level, it is level.

10.  If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.

11. If it moves but it shouldn't, use duct tape. If it should move but doesn't, use WD40

A Touch of Home

2006-04-03T20:38:00.000-07:00

Today, while ferrying donated food from a company to a mission in New Jersey we hit really bad traffic. Apparently it was being caused by an accident in the Lincoln Tunnel and everything was backed up for about a zillion kilometers. We didn't know anything about it until it was too late.
For "some odd reason" everyone was driving slower...then it slowed to a crawl...then we were stopped...then we'd move a few meters...stop again...then no movement for a full 20 minutes.
If it wasn't for a bunch of gaijins in the cars all around me, it could have been me in Tokyo traffic again. Oh wait...here, I'm the gaijin...
Just reminds me of how I miss the little things about Japan...

...nostalgia...it's just not how it used to be...

Now for a little story...
Back when i was living in Japan (seems like a lifetime ago), I was making dinner with the guys. We thought we'd make some chicken-potato salad so we took out a bag labeled "chicken" from the freezer. We proceeded to boil the chicken, dice the potatoes and carrots, and scrounge up some mayo. It was only after all the preparations (and about 15 minutes till dinner time), that we realized that it was indeed chicken in the bag, just not the kind of chicken we wanted. In fact it was the last thing we needed. It was chicken LIVER. unfortunately at that point we couldn't start over so we decided that we'd just go ahead with our original plan but substitute the chicken liver for normal chicken. Besides, how bad could it be? (oooh, famous last words) After it was mixed we thought it was only fair, we'd taste it to make sure it was edible. Boiled chicken liver? Edible, it wasn't. In fact it was so awful that we HAD to cover the taste with something...anything. We went through the spice cupboard and put in anything that we thought could improve the taste. We took another taste and WOW! Not only was it still not edible, it tasted like...well...everything. It was sour, bitter, salty, sweet, spicy...all at once. Below is the finished product.
Naturally, there were leftovers. LOTS of leftovers. So...I served it for lunch the next day :)
Only, I managed to mix it with spaghetti sauce to cover the taste and everyone ate it and there was nothing left.

Obtaining a NY State driver's license...easier for a camel to walk through the eye of a needle...

2006-03-22T16:18:00.000-08:00

What can I say? um...how about..."Don't try it!"
I got myself an international driver's license before I left good ol' Japan. When I got here I found out that our insurance doesn't cover drivers using international licenses. So in order to be insured and drive here I need to get a New York State Driver's License. When I finally got around to working on it (after all the visa work I've had to take care of), this is the dilemma I found myself in.

I ran (quite literally) down to the local DMV to get a driver's information text book to study and get aquainted with the local laws (driving on the left side of the road = bad, etc...) so I'd be able to pass the written "exam". When I got home I looked at the ID documents required to get a license, I found the following:
1.) I need a social security number or a letter from the Social Security Agency stating that I'm not eligible for a SSN (in which case they make you show more ID documents than you normally would). In order to get a SSN I need to have a visa status. Since I'm in application for a spouse visa I'm between statuses. I promptly went down to the Social Security Agency to get my letter of ineligibility. So far so good.
2.)I needed enough documents (6 points worth)to establish my identity. Here is where the turds hit the fan. They gave me a long list of what I could use as ID documents...of which a grand total of maybe 5 or so that I actually have. Foreign passport (3 points, a US passport would have got me 4). Can you believe they won't even take a foreign birth certificate! They made me produce one when I applied for the visa. No! It has to be a US birth certificate. Pray tell, where would I get one of those? Highschool diploma? Nope! Only a US issued one. Marriage certificate (2 points). Hey! lucky me! Mohawk tribe ID card. HAHAHAHA! ME?...hmm... still 1 point shy...maybe I'll open a bank account and get me that 1 last point.
3.)The one that would have gotten me the most brownie points and, combined with my marriage certificate, possibly would have been my passport but there were some odd stipulations to using the passport as ID. So, again, I ran to the DMV to have them look over all my documents to see if I qualify. Without a valid visa, my passport may as well have been forged. Without that, I didn't have a chance in the world to get enough ID points for a license. They told me, "oh, just renew your tourist visa", I'd need to leave the US and then return in order to get it renewed. The problem with that is if you leave the country while you're still in application they close the book on you. "How about your green card?" ...still in application...that Mohawk tribe ID card is starting to look really appealing right about now. Can you say "square one"?...I knew you could.

Still looking for a way around it...if you have any ideas, give me a ring.

We're almost there!!! I can see your house from here!!!

2006-03-08T19:38:00.000-08:00

We've almost made it!!! Spring is almost here!!! With spring right around the corner (or so the groundhog would have us believe) and the weather warming up, there should be plenty of chances for camping coming our way--and not a moment too soon. I, for one, am really looking forward to weather in which I can once again risk baring more than a square centimeter of my bare skin to the elements without fear of losing that square centimeter to frostbite. Can you believe I actually wear long-Johns? I haven't done that since I was 13! I feel like such a nerd! I guess moving to NY will do that to ya!

On the subject of camping, I remembered reading an article on it many years back and it took a while for me to track it down. In any case, without further ado...

Helpful Camping Tips

by Bruce Cochran; from the Sept. `96 issue of Backpacker

Get even with a bear who raided your food bag by kicking his favorite stump apart and eating all the ants.

Old socks can be made into high fiber beef jerky by smoking them over an open fire.

When smoking a fish, never inhale.

A hot rock placed in your sleeping bag will keep your feet warm. A hot enchilada works almost as well, but the cheese sticks between your toes.

You'll never be awakened by the call of a loon if you have an unlisted number.

The best backpacks are named for national parks or mountain ranges. Steer clear of those named for landfills.

Acupuncture was invented by a camper who found a porcupine in his sleeping bag.

While the Swiss Army Knife has been popular for years, the Swiss Navy Knife has remained largely unheralded. Its single blade functions as a tiny canoe paddle.

Effective January 1, 1997, you will actually have to enlist in the Swiss Army to get a Swiss Army Knife.

Modern rain suits made of fabrics that "breathe" enable campers to stay dry in a downpour. Rain suits that sneeze, cough, and belch, however, have been proven to add absolutely nothing to the wilderness experience.

Lint from your navel makes a handy fire starter. Warning: Remove lint from navel before applying the match.

You'll never be lost if you remember that moss always grows on the north side of your compass. You can duplicate the warmth of a down-filled bedroll by climbing into a plastic garbage bag with several geese.

The canoe paddle, a simple device used to propel a boat, should never be confused with a gnu paddle, a similar device used by Tibetan veterinarians.

When camping, always wear a long-sleeved shirt. It gives you something to wipe your nose on. You can compress the diameter of your rolled up sleeping bag by running over it with your car. Take this simple test to see if you qualify for solo camping. Shine a flashlight into one ear. If the beam shines out the other ear, do not go into the woods alone.

A two-man pup tent does not include two men or a pup.

A potato baked in the coals for one hour makes an excellent side dish. A potato baked in the coals for three hours makes an excellent hockey puck.

You can start a fire without matches by eating Mexican food, then breathing on a pile of dry sticks.

In emergency situations, you can survive in the wilderness by shooting small game with a slingshot made from the elastic waistband of your underwear.

The guitar of the noisy teenager at the next campsite makes excellent kindling.

A large carp can be used for a pillow.

Check the washing instructions before purchasing any apparel to be worn camping. Buy only those that read "Beat on a rock in stream."

The sight of a bald eagle has thrilled campers for generations. The sight of a bald man, however, does absolutely nothing for the eagle.

It's entirely possible to spend your whole vacation on a winding mountain road behind a large motor home.

Bear bells provide an element of safety for hikers in grizzly country. The tricky part is getting them on the bears.

A great deal of hostility can be released by using newspaper photos of politicians for toilet paper.

In an emergency, a drawstring from a parka hood can be used to strangle a snoring tent mate.

hmm...what's wrong here...?

2006-02-12T21:26:00.000-08:00

I'm sure you've come across something like this in your lifetimes too but I just had to snap a shot and post it

Photos of the house in Troy NY

2006-02-12T21:16:00.000-08:00

The outside was pretty good-looking compared to the inside

view up the street taken from the top of the stairs leading to the entrance

view down the street taken from the top of the stairs leading to the entrance

the building in the center is the one

aftermath...day after yesterday...um...in other words...um...today...

2006-02-12T08:38:00.000-08:00

You looked at the house (in Troy)and all that needed to get done in the timeframe and you thought it was impossible. Now you know you can do it. I put you through alot, both mentally and physically. You have come out stronger, more agile, and better prepared. If nothing else, think of it as an exercise, a drill, training. The elite in worldly armies often look back on the training they went through with awe at what they were able to endure. In time, so will you. It's a stepping stone...one that takes he shape of a seemingly pointless exercise. (Your Commander)

the longest week part 8

2006-02-08T16:59:00.000-08:00

So we'd finally completed our hasty withdrawl from our short-lived house in Troy, NY and we were on our way down the Turnpike toward NYC with both Dodge Ram and the borrowed pickup truck loaded to the hilt. The time when we left was close to 9:30. Due to the hurried manner in which we loaded the truck (that along with the absence of boxes), left us with a large amount of loose stuff in the bed of the truck. We had tied it down the best we could with the pieces of rope we were provided with. On top of that the rain was coming down and we had no real tarp to speak of. It was more like a picnic mat, really. Things were getting a little wet but, it was decided, it couldn't really be helped. We had the Dodge team drive behind us so they could let us know if/when anything would come loose. We stopped a couple of times along the Turnpike to make sure everything was in order. When we reached what was generally the halfway point the Dodge team called us on our cell phone to let us know that something was flapping in our slipstream. We pulled over at the next rest area to find that our "tarp" had come loose and the rope eyes had been ripped out. Having nothing else to replace the tarp with, we put our biggest box-spring mattress on top and tied it down. There were snow flurries now.
I looked at the gas guage.oO(our low gas light came on...we'd still make it to the nearest exit). Half an hour later I looked in the side mirror and saw what I thought to be the Dodge flashing their lights at us. A second later our cell phone rang...they were out of gas. I looked in the mirror again as I saw them pull onto the shoulder. What could we do really? It was a throughway. There was no way we could get off, turn around, and help them without going to both ends of the throughway. Besides, we were low too...They'd find a way to get some gas via tow truck.oO(good luck guys! hope you make it home.)
About 15 minutes down the road and...you've got to be kidding me!!!...and we coast to a halt as we pull onto the shoulder, the engine dead. It's just one of those days... We were dead on the shoulder of the throughway, barely off of the "slow" lane. A driver had to stay by the car...just in case. Since I wasn't the driver and I didn't have my license with me, I volunteered to run to the next exit, get some gas in a can and come back. With my little maglite and passport in hand, I started off running. Not entirely sure of how much distance I had to cover, I paced myself. After what seemed like ten minutes I reached the exit, asked for directions to the gas station, and started off running again. I ran about 3-400 meters when I heard a police car siren start right behind me. I froze, and realized I had something in my hand. Not wanting it to be mistaken for anything lethal; with my back to the police car, I slowly raised both hands with my flashlight held with two fingers. The policeman pulled up beside me and rolled his window down. "You with those guys back there who are out of gas?" "Yeah" "Get in the back"..."But, sir. Can't I just go to the Exxon right there (literally 200 meters away)?" "I can't let you do that. It's dangerous. You could have passed out" Me:.oO(Pass out? Yeah right! I'm a runner...it's what I do!!!UGH!!!) So close!...If I hadn't paced myself I could have made it. It wasn't THAT far.
In a matter of minutes I was let out of the police car.
Policeman:I'm gonna open the window now. Reach out and open the door from the outside.
Oh right! I'm in the BACK of a police criuser. These things don't open from the inside. Wow, don't I feel like a right criminal (kinda cool actually)...
I sheepishly get back into the pickup truck and we all have a chuckle. Now the only choice we have is to call a tow truck. Good thing we have triple A. No matter what tow truck company comes, we get triple A rates. We wait, and wait..........and wait. A good hour or so passes before the tow truck reaches us. Then we find out that since we are in a pickup truck, they charge truck rates that aren't covered by Triple A. 75 bucks for 5 gallons of gas. OUCH!
We get under way again and make it back home with no further incident.
We got back to the house around 12:30 am. Unloaded the truck so the stuff wouldn't get (more) wet (we also had to return it by 7 the next day). Around 1:30 am I opened a beer, laid back on the bed and closed my eyes for a second...and next thing I know its morning.
The saga had ended, or at least one scene of it had. We are still in search for a house, and until we do, this chapter of the saga will never be complete.

the longest week part 7

2006-02-06T14:58:00.000-08:00

This day started, not unlike a typical morning after you'd finished cleaning and fixing a house and found out you'd been evicted. After much prayer and deliberation we decided to take a trip up to our ghetto house by van to retrieve the valuables as we wouldn't be able to get everything that day due to not having our own truck. As we prepared to leave, we hit a snag. To make a long story just a tad bit shorter, we had to get ALL our stuff out of the building by that night. As we'd just finished unpacking everything there, we had no boxes, no truck, no light, and no time. Step by step the Lord provided most of what we needed. We were able to borrow a truck from a nearby home, we got a few crates together, we would have to work around not having enough of them but it was something, we still had no lights but we packed a mean flashlight. By the time we left it was close to 1:00 pm. We'd have to work like mad to get out of there before it got too late. We went in 2 vehicles, a Dodge Ram and a Pickup truck.
When we got there around 16:00, we did the whole moving in and unpacking operation in reverse. Bunk beds I'd assembled just 36 hours earlier had to come down. A washing machine we had dragged up to the second floor had to be brought back down. All the dishes and kitchenware that had been put away meticulously in drawers, cupboards, and shelves by my organization-obcessed, almost-Monica-like wife had to be reboxed and loaded up. A pantry room full of food stuffs had to be emptied. When all was said but not yet completely done, it was 20:00. All that remained was to have the landlord come and return our rent and deposit. He was "unreachable" for some odd reason. We were out there long enough to have a policeman drive up to us.
Policeman: how's it going guys?
Us: Oh...pretty good...
Policeman: what's going on?
Us: We got evicted due to code violation so we moved our stuff out and we're waiting on the land lord.
Policeman: Oh, yes (very familiar with this building I'm sure)Let me see if I can get him over here sooner (as he gets on his cell and "asks" the landlord to call him back)
Policeman: Actually the reason I came out here was to check out a complaint. An anonymous neighbor reported that you were stealing a dryer.
Us: (eyes wide) You've gotta be kidding me! We load a truck and van FULL of furniture, boxes, and other luggage and they report that we're stealing a DRYER? Besides, we don't even have a dryer in the truck! The closest thing we have is a washing machine.
We would have been hysterical with laughter if we weren't tired and cheezed off after our colossal efforts.
The policeman was nice enough and he left shortly afterwards. The Landlord was, miraculously, reachable again! He came, checked out the building and returned the money. We were on our way (back)! The ghetto we almost lived in...

the longest week part 6

2006-02-06T14:30:00.000-08:00

Most of the morning of day 5 was spent doing wrap up work in preparation for the main part of the move. You know, putting luggage in the proper rooms, setting up the class room, last sweep/mop job, assembling furniture, etc. The place was supposed to be all ready to receive everyone. We rented 2 gigantic UHAUL trucks to load up the rest of our stuff. When I say gigantic, I mean GIGANTIC!!! At least I wasn't there to load it up, I thought to myself. But I spent the day in anticipation of the pain of taking two 10 ton trucks worth of stuff up 2 or 3 flights of stairs.
We had lunch and prepared to finish the job when I heard a knock on our back door. I figured that it was the girls, locking themselves out of the house...again. I opened the door to find a tall guy there. He flashed a badge and said he was from the county code department and had something to say to us. I got the team together and he told us that this house had been declared unfit for human habitation and was condemned. The land owner knew this but had tried to rent it out to us anyway. He had to get the police over to file a report on the incident. The officer took our names and checked our ID. When he got around to mine which just so happened to be a passport, he bellowed "OSS!" and explained that he'd taken Karate earlier on in life. They explained the situation to us and it goes something like this:
"This particular building had been:
home for drugdealers
a crack house
murder (and corpse) hideout
whore house
And after each of these elements moved in there, it was subsequently raided and after all that, in order to save the city the trouble, the city just condemned the place. You guys are just stuck in the middle of a bad situation." (that's it? Is that all?)"If the circumstances were different, you missionaries would have been great for this neighborhood. We need good people moving in for a change!" They were real nice about it but had to do their job.
After a few hours of deliberation the policeman notified us that we needed to leave the property immediately as per the law of the State of NY. After the policeman had left, the code officer told us that he would let us stay until the end of the day so long as a team picked us up that same day. But if he found us there the next morning, he would have us arrested. Since we were in the house illegally we couldn't make it obvious we were still inside the house so we laid low, kept the lights off and kept to ourselves while awaiting rescue.
Due to the complications of unloading a huge truck and returning it (it still cost us) and the ensuing confusion, we weren't rescued for another 5 hours most of which was spent lying on the floor or sitting on the stairwell in the darkness as we did our best to look on the bright side, count our blessings, and reflect.
The drive back home was fairly subdued and once we got "home" (the original place) we were able to fill everyone in on the details of what had taken place.

the longest week part 5

2006-02-06T10:40:00.000-08:00

I spent most of day 4 cleaning windows (of which there were many). To understand the pains of cleaning windows you need to understand the way windows are made here in the great democracy...Or at least how they used to make windows. They don't open side to side like they do in Japan. Most open bottom to top. and as such they are close to impossible to clean entirely from the inside. I think this was a conspiracy by the window making cartels to make windows that require professional window cleaning crews (provided by them of course) that charge exorbiant prices that you can't afford thus allowing them to collect by harvesting your organs and selling them on the black market. Win win situation! Unless ofcourse you are dumb enough to hang out 3 stories high by holding onto an unstable window to clean as much as you can of the window when it's open (which, trust me, is not that much. These window cartels covered all their bases). I ended up sticking to the inside of the windows which had it's own set of difficulties. Thanks to the aforementioned reverse minimum wage painter the windows were covered in paint. There was probably more paint on the window than on the sills where it was supposed to be. It was like the guy used the Bean method of painting. Enter room with paint can and dynamite. Open can. Put dynamite in paint. Light fuse. Exit room very quickly. So I had to scrape the windows in order to get them clean. Many of the glass windows had been replaced with plexiglass (as a cost saving measure?) and thus great care (and again...time) had to be taken to not scratch the plastic. By the end of the day all the inside windows were clean and paint free. When we paused for lunch that day, I decided to sweep the front stairs that lead onto the side walk. While I was doing that, a local came up and we had the following conversation:
Him: did they leave the place a mess in there?
Me: .oO(not too sure what he was getting at) yeah! Well, it's an old place. Probably seen better days. Just giving it a few coats of paint, doing a general cleaning, rug doctoring, and stuff...
Him: They had a crack bust in there and they dragged all the tenants in that place out.
Me: .oO(you've got to be kidding me...then again those doors...they did look kicked in) Wow! I didn't know that. That explains alot. How long ago was that?
Him: about a month and a half ago.
Me: Wow!
Him: Well, it's nice to see you guys cleaning the place up. Good luck.
Me: Wow!
I went back into the house and looked at those door again. Now I understood. I saw the house in a whole new light. And in my twisted mind I thought, "Cool! A house with some history." Still some of those doors...looked like it had been kicked in a couple times...but still...Wow!

the longest week part 4

2006-02-06T10:20:00.000-08:00

The truck containing much food, dining supplies, kitchen appliances, furniture, studying material, beds, etc had arrived in the late afternoon. We went about unloading the truck and believe me, a 3 story house is a real trip when it comes to moving but it was over fairly quickly though somewhat painfully. By the next day the 5 of us had grown more accustomed to being there. The neighborhood seemed ok (we had even taken to singing the refrain from Shaggy's "Ghetto Child" jokingly as we worked) We had done a general cleaning of most of the house. The 1st and 2nd layer of paint (that we had done) had been applied with much creakiness of ladders and pains in the arm. The first trip of furniture and supplies had been distributed to their appropriate floors and the pantry had been set up. The kitchen had been set up and the dishes put away in their prospective closets. The house in general had become more inspiring to be in and was beginning to look like a house people could actually live in.
One thing that I noticed was that none of the doors in the house(besides the front and back doors) closed properly. You couldn't lock the toilet door and most of the room doors' knobs and latches didn't work (they looked like someone pushed too hard on a locked door). I thought it was pretty odd but didn't give it that much after-thought. Besides, its something that can be fixed later right?